Monday, 12 March 2012

Wilds Bound

The wind changed suddenly causing the Ambrea bound ship to lurch wildly to one side. Loud shouts from the ship’s crew echoed through the sound of a high crashing wave and pounding rain, sodden sails billowed in the last moments of a short lived yet dark storm, straining tightly against the northerly gust that rattled the high wooden mast before an almost eerie calm descended upon now darkening waters. Night was almost here.

Two piercing eyes snapped open, pupils dilated with an intense pigment, a wild sheen that seldom seemed to fade. After several minutes without blinking, a final closing accompanied a long sigh, a sigh that whispered of impatience and in ways a taking stock of much emotion and worry. Eyes barely winced against the salty spray that had now dusted the almost deserted bow, yet warm tears did well behind those wild yet tired pupils as a very lonely Blaze stared out to the gloomy horizon.

The view matched her mood perfectly, almost embraced her as if such clouds were conjured from the sheer force of her emotions as she glanced overhead, waiting for the moon that would tell her she was nearing, finally upon that last stretch, give that glimmer of hope and steer her back from a smouldering, darkening disappointment and deep churning guilt for her leaving in the first place. It had been for nothing other than a bitter closure. Still she would embrace that and turn it to something to guide her, it’s what she did now…thrived and worked hard, determined, focused, empassioned to her drives and instincts. Yet she was still human…somewhere.

The sky was not yet black, rolling clouds of mottled gray rumbled faintly overhead as the storm moved on. No stars twinkled above and the moons silvery glow mostly feeble causing her to sigh once more as gaze stayed lifted in hope to see them both. Such a miserable picture…still even darkest clouds held a silver lining.

A dark cloak rippled behind her like a textured shadow as the cool breeze lingered in wake of the more violent gusts. In the instinct for comfort rather than any felt shiver did she clutch it more tightly to her noticeable thinner form. Fingertips caressed lightly back and forth against the nape of her neck then around to her throat and downwards as if fingering an invisible pendant nestled between her breasts.

“I’m coming home Brego…please be well. I’m coming home…”

Her whispered voice sounded over rosy lips, soft yet determined in her velvety way, undertone of gruffness that hinted she was perhaps not all she seemed. Lashes lightly brushed her cheeks as she blinked again, the tiniest crystal like tear threatened as it had for hours yet by lifting her gaze higher to the breeze it evaporated before falling.

“I should never have left, never have parted. I never knew distance could hurt this much. Please be well…please be well…”

She sniffed softly and looked down to her hand which had snaked from her swirling sleeve and grasped the wooden rail as she poised to step up flush against it. The ship dipped back and forth as it plowed onwards taking her home and hopefully to waiting arms. Yet somehow the closer she got the more impatient and desperate she became.

The last few weeks had been beyond awful. Nothing had gone right, so much she had known or led to believe turned upon its head. Confronted with truths that ought to have shook her to the very core and at first they had for such truths were enlightening indeed and had stung deeply…and yet…she would survive, closure upon a misunderstood and much denied past would help her move forward with a stronger mind, no lingering back there anymore.

Blaze of Skaersjborg; the cautious, quiet vampire who arrived in Ambrea desperate to fit in over two and half years ago was all but gone. The last fragments of any connection to that forsaken title and family now severed and put aside once and for all. She’d long now lived with her happier, stronger identity. Her bloods thrived even if irratic, her will determined and her hopes and wellbeing cemented in instinct, survive and unshakable loyalty and bond.

All she would miss would be the beautiful landscape but she knew she had her ways to revisit it safely. Far graver was that she had left at all…parted from her soul mate and the flame of her strength and it seemed for nothing for there was little good from this heart aching distance. Like millions before her she wondered a moment upon the desire to rewind time and make different choices but with a frown she pushed such thoughts away and with them the events of the last weeks (to be told in another blog!) Her focus was determined, she had grown much and getting home to her family and her Wilds was all that mattered now.

A subtle twinkle caught her eye causing her to smile, curling her fingers to a fist then straightening them once more. She brought the ring close to her lips and drew in a deep needful breath.

“I have missed you so much...please be well…I’m almost home”

She felt that thud of loneliness wash over her, it was torture to know nothing of his wellbeing, nothing of their children who she missed with just as deep an ache, nothing of their new home and purpose left on the cusp of a new and exciting life, the life she’d striven for and led them too proudly and ambitiously. She had tried to tell herself that he would not waste a drop to simple tell her he missed her, that it must be taken as a sign of good, that all was well or as well as could be expected being so far apart. Yet as weeks turned into a month she thought about that vial more and more as her stomach churned with worry.

Finally stepping up against the rail she snapped herself out of it with a low growl in her throat. Too much time alone, just like before, left the mind to wander places it should not. A gust of salty air caught at her hood, unveiling her long glossy yet tangled hair. It whipped about her face then tumbled behind her, dark as midnight yet now held more prominent sign of her taints evolution. The recent full moon had seen changes that she knew he would notice and hopefully be proud of.

Blue eyes gazed to the horizon still, chin lifted as moonlight finally broke through the cloud overhead, dancing over the water with an enchanting glow, waves rippling and breaking with shimmering crests that seemed to roll in a watery path that would bring her home. Through the hazy retreating mist the outline of mountains loomed and she felt her heart lift and lurch all at once. What would she return to? She’d left so abruptly after heart wrenching, agonizing decision. It had taken deep persuasion and assurances that they were strong enough to cope...this was something she had to do or risk a lingering regret that may never grant her real peace. But that did not make it any easier and as the ship had pulled away from StrongHaven harbor all those weeks ago she had relented to sob as she seldom had before.

Would the Wilds be theirs? Would the home she’d long desired and searched for be all she had expected? Would Alastair have settled well even without her? Would the fae have moved in as rumored on her departure? Would life have moved on so much in a month so she would be the outsider in a world that was supposed to be hers…for once she had thought to be the heart of? She chewed her lip in thought slowly considering each in turn. However Ambrea received her return she would face with strength and will to reclaim her place and grasp that need she’d held for so long. To have something to protect, apply her strength and her skills to something she believed in and felt belonging to deep in her veins. And to do so with him…finally somewhere together they could truly thrive after so many years unsettled and lost in their sense of acceptance. It was their time, by gods they had earned it!

Her eyes shimmered much like the waves with a determined edge and she let hope fill her head and her heart as the stars now blazed the path ahead, home to a loving embrace and a purpose once more. She would protect the Wilds with everything she had. Cunning mind, ferocious temper, strength of will, tooth and claw; everything would be dedicated to that she had craved for so long. Those within the Wilds would see her true worth, see her finally in her element and she would fight for them so long as they respected her. Her bloods would take no more disrespect…it would be earned and maintained or gods helped those that came against her will or dared to test her. No longer would she hide from or be made to feel ashamed of her gifts or her instincts. She was tough but she was fair, she could be surprisingly kind and yet when necessity demanded she could be most cruel, she was trustworthy yet she gave trust most cautiously. It took someone special to break through her guards and so for now the winds winged her gratefully and hopefully even if a little anxiously towards the one who who’d surpassed them all…

“I’m almost home Brego…almost home..”

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